Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
