escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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