i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
