i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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