it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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