If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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