I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize