Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?

  (253): View more from Washington

  Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.

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  (541): There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them? (253): Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either. http://tfl.nu/fhrp
  Replies (21) Good night (1246) Bad night (680)
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  (310): View more from California

  she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex

  (1-310): View more from California

  wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh

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  (310): she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex (1-310): wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh http://tfl.nu/mhlr
  Replies (17) Good night (1202) Bad night (4309)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.

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  (512): want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase. http://tfl.nu/ejib
  Replies (4) Good night (1430) Bad night (2072)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.

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  (775): At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later. http://tfl.nu/5mcf
  Replies (4) Good night (933) Bad night (2329)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.

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  (614): I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing. http://tfl.nu/nz2e
  Replies (11) Good night (1230) Bad night (1608)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.

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  (914): Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon. http://tfl.nu/php8
  Replies (11) Good night (2059) Bad night (554)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen

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  (519): I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen http://tfl.nu/o99g
  Replies (2) Good night (592) Bad night (949)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.

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  (847): So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day. http://tfl.nu/zt4q
  Replies (1) Good night (788) Bad night (486)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping

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  (403): Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping http://tfl.nu/43en
  Replies (6) Good night (1319) Bad night (353)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore

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  (787): Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore http://tfl.nu/sv88
  Replies (3) Good night (755) Bad night (407)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?

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  (859): Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less? http://tfl.nu/3zmk
  Replies (5) Good night (1337) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity

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  (313): Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity http://tfl.nu/jv85
  Replies (4) Good night (792) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.

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  (330): I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs. http://tfl.nu/5zwg
  Replies (8) Good night (611) Bad night (382)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.

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  (724): A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume. http://tfl.nu/l1hl
  Replies (1) Good night (1086) Bad night (339)
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  (956): View more from Texas

  If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.

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  (956): If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so. http://tfl.nu/rl8c
  Replies (1) Good night (281) Bad night (479)

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