Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME