If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
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when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.