i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize