It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
they're like a gay fantastic four
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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