I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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