How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
