Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
