I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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