Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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