I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
