If that was your dad, he is hot
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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