all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
