i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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