Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
