Me too!
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
