just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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