Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
