i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
