I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
