I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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