my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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