Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
