we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
