I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
