paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
