how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
