im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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