Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
third nipple confirmed
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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