I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
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He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
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I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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