chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
