Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
