I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
