i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
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