i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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