my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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