I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
