i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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