Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
