...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
