I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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