She is in my trunk
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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