What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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