guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
