OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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