she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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