I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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