Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Randomize