Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
