whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
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Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
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She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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