I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
