we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
